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| Artcard by Marlney Monique Causing |
As Women's Month comes to an end, the CASA Chronicle Literary Team commemorates this day by sharing their personal experiences where they had a powerful moment of realization, 'Babae ako, hindi babae lang'. A situation where they truly felt empowered, valued, and seen for who they are, beyond stereotypes or expectations.
Being a woman comes with its fair share of challenges, especially in the present society where we’re often labeled as lacking, overly sensitive, less valuable, weak, and countless other stereotypes. But the truth is, I am indeed all those things because I am a woman overflowing with passion, love, empathy, and vulnerability, which makes me live life full of intelligence, courage, and grace.
The moment I realized that the essence of being a woman is woven from all these layers, is the moment I embraced every part of it.
We are beautiful, raw, and divine because of them. For so long, we were confined by shame; our minds have been programmed to perceive our nature as flawed just because we do things differently in this patriarchal society. However, today, and for the next coming generations, I choose to stand as a force that defines strength and power, not in the way I am told to be, but in the authenticity of who I truly am as a woman—and that is what I celebrate.
— Dinesse Abadia
For the longest time, I thought strength had to be physical, loud, and cold—like how most men, as they say, would embody it. Strength would come in the form of being physically able to lift heavy things without sweating, in speaking what’s on my mind without hesitation, and in holding back emotions no matter how heavy they felt. But I was never one of those things. I didn’t exactly fit the mold of what strength was supposed to look like, and I usually hated myself for these reasons. But then I looked at the women of my family who have undergone a lot yet never crumbled. They were not loud, not unshaken, and not cold, yet they are the strongest people I know. I saw strength in the way they spoke gently but firmly, in the way they give in to their emotions and pain yet still choose to stand back up each time. That’s when I realized that strength comes in many forms. It’s not all about power—it’s found in resilience, kindness, and in loving so much that their love becomes a force that can protect anyone from anything.
I may not be strong in the way the world expects, but I am strong in the way women in my family were—in the way only women can be.
— Claire Ysabelle Alcantara
To all the women in my life, friends and family:
As someone who grew up with mostly you in my life, you’ve taught me a lot of things no man ever could. The important maxims that built my view of the world, how kindness and an open heart can weather even the most violent of storms. You taught me to be affectionate in the face of apathy. You taught me that anyone can change, and choose forgiveness both for others and myself. But I know this isn’t true all the time, and in most cases it isn’t. At the times where kindness should never even have been an option, you were forced to lower your head.
All the things the free man can do, some you never could, all because of a distinction that stemmed in gestation.
The sacrifices you’ve made, just for the sake of the other person and as the only way to protect yourself. You’ve been put in the most belittling and passionless position for so long, and when you finally have the say to tell them you deserve otherwise, you were greeted by deceptive smiles that were only planning to be patient with you. They only think you’ll stop because it’s in your “nature” to want “peace”. But it’s something you’ve never known, for it is never peace when someone is oppressed. I want to pretend that I do understand, but I know to myself that I don’t and I never will. You always called me out when I claimed I did, and despite coming from a genuine place, maybe I do deserve your scolding, because no matter what words I say and which lives I live, I am no different than the other person. I can continue myself in writing this ode to you, but I know to myself that all I’ve written is wrong and meaningless. What you see and live through is something I’ll never know, not even a scratch on what you truly experience. All I can show for are these worthless words, and the love you’ve graced me for so long.
— Adam Bolante
There are numerous moments in my life where I felt empowered but nothing beats the wave of empowerment you feel after a heartbreak.
It was not a single particular moment instead it was a gradual process of getting back on my feet and finding my spark again.
Being inside a toxic relationship, whether it is a romantic or friendship, leaves someone to question their worth. i still remember my greatest friendship break up and how that broke me into so many pieces. It was a cycle of self blame and questions of “why wasn’t i good enough?” But healing from that pain is what empowered me—- getting to know myself again, knowing that i was genuine, and my heart still so full of love to be able to love someone wholeheartedly— these raw emotions whether good or bad and being able to feel them is what made me realize na its okay not to break the stereotype of an emotional woman because it gives us the chance to be an empath, to be true, and to be human.
— Gabby Busto
It was subtle at first—a whisper in the back of my mind, a quiet, persistent voice telling me that I was more than the limitations they placed on me.
Many people think that the ultimate end of a woman is motherhood.
The end could mean the end of their happy days or the goal of what a woman is. People don’t like an old spinster, so you had better marry before the age of 40, at most. Then, people question their womanhood once they are unable to give either a healthy baby or, most of the time, a son. People then continue to question her womanhood once she can’t manage her husband to behave or stay; probably not pretty enough. Can’t let her breathe, they ask her womanhood again when she starts complaining, why can’t she handle a simple task; you’re a woman, handle it. Questioning her motherhood this time when she can’t manage to get her son to behave, worse if it's a daughter. “You already can’t give us a son, and you have the nerve to let your daughter be rowdy?” Then, the questioned mother teaches her daughter to prepare the table rather than placing food on the table because you’re a woman. Have you noticed, throughout these phases, when you have seen a man’s manhood questioned? No, of course, we don’t owe it to him if he chooses to be a deadbeat, cheater, or just outright menace. Because he’s a man, if he is not any of those, it’s much more confusing. Yet, have we not thought in the first place we don’t owe these women anything at all? Not their choice of being a mother, having a child, raising their child, and deciding for their own sake. Here’s a little pill that’s hard to swallow: a woman's end goal is not always being a mother or a wife. The ultimate end of a woman is to be a WOMAN she knows best. A woman she can show the world with chin up, despite everything else.
— Kenji Llanes
Sex and sensuality were always bound shut to me as a growing woman. In true traditional fashion, I was taught that a good woman, a proper woman, was someone who lived chastely. Demure attitudes. Sleeved shirts. Skirts and dresses that go past under the knees. Modesty was the pinnacle of worth for a woman in our society, and even when I tried my best to be as modest as I could, I was always shamed for even the littlest of things that can be sexualized.
Ayusin mo upo mo. Palitan mo suot mo. Lumilitaw bra strap mo. Regardless of what I wore or what I did, there would always be something that can be sexualized about it, and I had to be the responsible one and adjust. Even when it was something out of my control, I had to be the one to readjust and be proper. Countless of times they put the blame on my shoulders for being sexual, and countless of times I simply nodded and did so out of wanting to be modest.
But why is sexuality such a bad thing for women to achieve? Why is sensuality wrong for a woman to behold and take part in? Even if I did dress in a revealing fit, or go out drinking at the clubs, or even participate in the hook-up culture, why is that something that diminishes my worth as a woman? Why should the men delight in their exploits and their “nature”, their “biological needs”, while women are shamed and persecuted for doing the same?
The show of my body does not equal the show of my worth.
And the more I grew up, out of the chains that sought to mold me into a perfectly modest young woman, I began to take joy in the realization that — I am a woman, and I’m already perfect this way.
I wear the short skirts and the skimpy dresses with pride. I flirt and I tease and I play. I enjoy the parties, I enjoy the attention it gives me, but more importantly; I enjoy the nature, my nature, of sex and sensuality.
Womanhood is a lifelong journey of exploring and enjoying ourselves as women. And as these are my prime years of womanhood, I intend to revel in it in all the ways that I can — perfect young lady be damned.
— Samantha Sopeña
