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| Artcard by Mika Orolfo |
Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you felt as if saying ‘no’ wasn’t an option? In today’s time, why do circumstances exist wherein saying ‘yes’ truly means a ‘yes’ and saying ‘no’ signifies being open for negotiation?
Consent, undeniably, is one of the key elements to a safe and healthy relationship. It ensures that both parties in a relationship feel heard, respected, and comfortable. However, recent events such as Senator Robin Padilla’s controversial statement regarding consent between married partners revealed that misconceptions about consent still exist, emphasizing the need for a thorough discussion regarding marital rights.
In a senate hearing that aimed to tackle sexual abuse last August 15, 2024, Senator Robin Padilla caught the attention of the public with his take on sex within marriage.
“Halimbawa, hindi mo naman pinipili kung kailan ka ‘in heat’ eh. Papaano ‘yun kapag ayaw ng asawa mo? So wala pong ibang paraan talaga? So papaano ‘yun, mambabae ka nalang ba?”- Sen. Padilla in a senate hearing (August 2024)
Claiming that a husband has ‘sexual rights’ on their wives, Padilla was met with criticisms from women’s rights groups and the public. Attorney Lorna Kapunan, a women’s rights advocate, was quick to point out that “no means no” even in marriage. According to her, it’s not an obligation of a wife to serve her husband and that part of showing love to a spouse is respecting their refusal, whether valid or not.
Showing respect and valuing one’s partner means not forcing them to do things they aren’t comfortable with, either at the moment or at all. In a healthy relationship, both parties should be free to express themselves without being judged and without being pressured to conform.
Consent is not a one-time thing and can be withdrawn at any time. It is important that we understand that there are many things we can mistakenly equate consent with. These include silence and hesitation. However, true consent is a clear, voluntary, and straightforward “yes.”
