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| Artcard by Julia Mendoza |
May we all choose love over indifference, even if the whole world insists otherwise.
In all the things I have done, I’ve done it while offering the entirety of my heart. From the way I laugh with my whole chest, the manner in which I cry with every wrinkle on my face, to the way I show love to those dear to me without a trace of uncertainty. I’ve always believed that love isn't an emotion you show half-heartedly. But if I learned something in the twenty years I’ve lived in this world that’s so afraid of giving what’s more than moderate, it’s the thought that this same world does not know what to do with a love that’s so honest and freely given.
I remember standing near a group of girls with one, holding her phone, and the others, trying to talk her out of continuing the conversation she had with someone dear to her. “‘Wag mo muna reply-an!,” “Magpamiss ka muna kaya?” the girls suggested. Surprisingly, they all reached the same conclusion and found themselves on the same page. I thought back then, when has love become a game that required calculation? Would distancing ourselves make us feel more wanted? Wasn’t love supposed to be freeing, not restricting?
I’ve seen a lot of people hesitate before saying they miss someone, as if these words, when spitted out, could strip them of who they are. I’ve witnessed people swallow their unexpressed affection as if suppressing it would make them more desirable. I wonder why we do this. In the words of a friend I once had this conversation with, “Why do I have to love less to be loved more?”
Perhaps it’s because of fear—fear of being the one with more cards on the table, fear of being the one who gives too much without receiving the same in return. We’re all afraid of being vulnerable at the hands of someone who may not reciprocate our emotions. When we find ourselves one step closer to being at the mercy of someone who may not handle our feelings with care, we take a step back, further than the steps we’ve taken forward.
And then, there’s also pride—the fear of looking foolish, of being the one who cares too much. Nobody wants to be the one who loves harder, replies quickly to messages, and is the first to admit they care. Somehow, somewhere along the way, we’ve developed this habit of trying not to seem too much. We hesitate, delete the messages we type, and try to appear less invested. But isn’t that the opposite of what love’s supposed to be? If love is meant to be genuine, then why must it be a strategy?
I’ve never understood it. I refuse to play this socially constructed game that thinks of the ability to love wholeheartedly as a flaw. I’d rather be the one who loves more in a world that glorifies indifference rather than silence the emotions that make me feel alive. Because by doing so, by loving less than what I am capable of, would be a betrayal of who I am.
I don’t want to believe that we should love less to be loved more—we all shouldn’t. I hope we all find it in ourselves to let our hearts win and take the risk, even if it means not receiving the same in return.
May we all choose love over indifference, even if the whole world insists otherwise. Because love, in its purest form, was never about guaranteed reciprocation. It was never about loving fully only because we are sure of being loved in return, but about finding the courage to express it despite the uncertainty.
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