Comfort Media Series: I Hate The Way I Don’t Hate It At All

Photo by Jyruz Hilbero

In this third installment of our Comfort Media Series, I welcome you to the world of a hopeless romantic girl who has a long list of comfort media for different purposes but always finds her way back to her favorite one. 

I run to different comfort media whenever I feel down, each serving a different purpose. I’ll play Taylor Swift’s Lover album when I want to feel nostalgic, I’ll shuffle Frank Ocean’s Blond album when I want to just feel everything and let it all out, I’ll watch Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo when I need cheering up, and the list goes on. But when I feel down and listless and nothing seems to work for me, I bring out the “big gun” among my comfort media—10 Things I Hate About You. 

Starring Julia Stiles as Kat Stratford and Heath Ledger as Patrick Verona, 10 Things I Hate About You was released in 1999 and revolves around the story of Patrick, a bad boy everyone is afraid of, getting paid to ask out Kat, a smart, outspoken, feminist student, on a date. 

Photo from Touchstone Pictures

Being the hopeless romantic that I am, I immediately fell in love with this movie. What made me feel more attached to the movie is the fact that the leading lady does not play the role of a damsel in distress. Unlike other leading ladies portrayed in most romantic comedies, Kat is very opinionated, outspoken, and unapologetic as she’s always ready to fight against misogyny and things that women have been victims of for centuries—which makes her such a refreshing character for me. Kat has this anger inside of her for the system that objectifies and treats women as inferior to men. She doesn’t care about what others would say and think of her because she prioritizes her peace. To put it short, she is who I aspire to be.

And of course, complementary to Kat is Patrick Verona, who is this dreamy, long-curly-haired boy with a bad reputation, who often causes trouble and doesn't talk much with others. He and Kat never had any significant interaction until one day, a guy, Joey, bribes Patrick to go out on a date with Kat.

Long story short, Kat has a younger sister, Bianca, who’s pretty and popular. However, their dad would not allow Bianca to date unless Kat gets a boyfriend first. This is the main reason why Joey paid Patrick to hang out with Kat, so he can date Bianca. 

Fast forward, after many dates and (many more) bribes, they fall for each other (surprise!) Patrick begins to feel guilty about not telling Kat the main reason why he approached her in the first place. Kat finds out about it during prom and she dumps Patrick. However, this does not last for long because one day, their class was asked to write a poem and Kat reads hers loudly in front of the class. Kat’s famous poem was:

I hate the way you drive my car. I hate it when you stare; 
I hate your big dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind. 
I hate you so much it makes me sick; it even makes me rhyme. 
I hate the way you’re always right. I hate it when you lie. 
I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it that you’re not around. And the fact that you didn’t call. 
But mostly I hate the way I don’t hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

Photo from Touchstone Pictures

You might be wondering, how does a love story comfort me when I feel sad and blue? The answer is: it just does. Haven't I already told you? I am a hopeless romantic. And even though the movie does not necessarily relay a direct message of hope and moving forward, it is enough to make me feel these things. There is just something about this movie that brightens up my mood and comforts me. I could watch this movie again and again and it would still have the same effect on me. There’s just something about rom-coms that just makes me fall in love with life and everything that comes with it.

If I were to give a more specific explanation, the way Kat speaks her mind comforts me, the way she stands up to men comforts me, and the way she falls in love and lets her guard down to Patrick comforts me. The way Patrick lets Kat into her life also brings me comfort, even the way he tried to make her say yes comforts me, up to the way he sees Kat for who she really is. Everything in this film comforts me and makes me more of a hopeless romantic than I already am. 

10 Things I Hate About You is the movie that saw me during my lowest, my highest, and the in-betweens. There’s no really deep explanation as to why it comforts me the way it does. After all this time, I’d find my way back to it when I need comfort.

We don’t need such grand explanations as to why specific things bring us comfort the way they do; it does not have to make perfect sense. What’s significant is it’s there when we need something to run back to and put us back at ease.

I might hate the fact that I cannot explain through words the way this movie makes me feel, I hate that it’s all I ever come back to, but mostly I hate the way I don’t hate it, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.