As March comes to an end, the celebration of Women’s Month continues on, as women carry their strength and determination throughout their lives. Women all over the world face discrimination and inequality, part of which involves unsavory opinions from others.
With that in mind, we gathered women from different universities and courses to ask them a question: “What are the things you don’t like hearing from other people as a woman?”
Here are some of their responses:
"How many kids are you planning to have?" / "Kelan mo kami bibigyan ng apo?"
Us women are not some type of tool or machine that creates babies; it's up to us whether we should bear a child or not.- Alex Casiguran, 1st-year IT student from Colegio de San Juan de Letran
"You're just a woman." / "Babae ka lang"
Women are people, not a gender stereotype. I don’t care about your genitals, I care about what you can do with them. Just because you're wired differently from me doesn't mean that I'm going to treat you differently from everyone else. Women are more than just their reproductive system; women are intelligent creatures capable of great things. Women have a history of being underestimated and undervalued by society, and it's time for that to stop. Women are capable of leadership and greatness, and it's about time we all recognize this fact. Women should never be defined simply by their gender; women should be judged by the same standards as men. Women deserve to be treated as equals in all aspects of life: at home, at work, and in society
- Quianna Austin, 1st-year Psychology student from De Lasalle University Manila
“... Kasi babae ka”
“Di mo yan pwede gawin kasi babae ka”, “Di ka dapat ganyan gumalaw kasi babae ka”, “Di mo yan kakayanin kasi babae ka”. Some people misunderstand the word “gender equality” and “feminism”. Ever since I was a kid, I had a strong sense of equality, lalo na when it comes down to gender. It saddens me that as I grew up, I was forbidden to do the things I wanted to do just because I was a “girl/woman”. I was always seen as inferior, delicate, and fragile. Something that should be handled with care. But what if I wasn’t like that? I’m not very good with expressing my thoughts, so I came with the resolve of just showing others that being a “woman” isn’t an obstacle. If others can do it, I can do it too. Gender doesn’t matter. Pag lalaki nagbuhat ng sako ng bigas normal lang, pero pag babae “ang lakas mo naman”? I’m still waiting for a society that will not underestimate what a woman can do.- Chiara Eronico, 1st-year Pharmacy student from the University of Santo Tomas
"Meron ka ba?"
Personally, I don't like being asked "Meron ka ba?" or any variant of asking the question about having my period. This usually happens if people around me didn't like the way I behaved or responded so they assume that something's wrong with me and that somehow it's related to my period. For me kasi, if they ask me that, it's like they're telling me that everything that I did that day is only a byproduct or the result of my period. Also, it kinda undermines my capabilities just because I'm in that time of the month when in fact, women are supposed to undergo that thing naman so there shouldn't be any subtle hint of misogyny. Lastly, I just think na being asked if you have a period is too unnecessary unless you have health-related concerns.
- Margaret Cayetano, 1st-year Communication student from the University of Santo Tomas
“Kababae mong tao anlakas lakas mo tumawa”
Laughter is the best medicine as they say, and I can confirm it to be true because I have laughed my sadness away a lot of times, most times my friends had helped me bring out my genuine laughter. For me it’s the best and the sweetest sound, for others it’s too loud or unflattering, especially for a lady such as myself. I still don’t get the point why such a thing could make me look less of a woman, do they ask me to hold back my expression of joy just to be appropriate for others? For me, laughter is the sweet sound of victory, an achievement in going through another hardship, a source of comfort that good things will come in every bad moment that you face, regardless of what I’ll look like to others, I will never give up the moments that I can laugh freely and genuinely.- Atheena Baetiong, 1st-year Communication student from the University of Santo Tomas
"It's not a big deal." / "Parang 'yun lang."
It is never your place to decide whether something is a big deal or not. You don't get to dictate what others should or shouldn't feel because you'll never fully understand someone's perception or feelings, even if you think that you do. Speaking from personal experience, when someone, especially a man, tells a woman those words, it always insinuates that his opinion about you is absolute. They make light of your situation and discredit your feelings about it. It is not only insensitive but also sexist.
- Gwyn Icasiano, 3rd-year Microbiology student from the University of Santo Tomas
“Ka-babae mong tao…”
Growing up, I have repeatedly heard this phrase from people around me — friends, teachers, family members, among others — for one too many reasons. For brushing my teeth the ‘wrong’ way. For being outspoken. For taking up ‘too much’ space. Needless to say, it irked me that my existence as a woman was viewed in such a negative light. Yet, I can’t solely blame them for seeing the world in two shades of femininity and masculinity as each of us, at some point, has played a role in perpetuating this mentality. As we celebrate Women’s Month, let this be a reminder that womanhood transcends boundaries. It goes beyond societal stereotypes and expectations. Take up all the space you want, and take it proudly.
- Darlene Legita, 1st year Basic Human Studies student from the University of Santo Tomas
This article is not meant to tell you to walk on eggshells whenever you say something to a woman; instead, we are asking everyone to be sensitive and mindful about your words. Let us be mature and open-minded enough to be considerate of what we say to them. Women have been oppressed for centuries now, we cannot blame them for getting tired of being dictated or made fun of. Stop telling little girls how they should act, talk, and dress. Let them be them, let us be us. And let them be free. It's about time we trash the stereotypes imposed on women and allow them to be released from the judgments of society. It has been long overdue for society to give women the respect and rights they deserve. We are women, not "just women."
