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| Photo by Jamila Estanislao |
To my 2022 self,
You have entered the year full of hope and determination, wishing that everything good comes your way. You were what your 2021 self wished she was and you were all your previous versions combined. You were confident that 2022 would be your year—until you weren’t.
You spent hours and days mourning over wasting your youth which was supposed to be your prime years. You came across successful people your age on social media and thought, “What am I doing with my life?” You come up with life-changing plans at 1 o’clock in the morning with your determination at its peak, only to go back to square one when you wake up; you feel more miserable than ever.
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| Image from SoulBeats |
You’ve made friends and strengthened relationships; you’ve also lost some. Your 2020 and 2021 self would have immediately thought that the issue lies within the friends you have lost and not with you. However, your 2022 self looks back on these relationships and recognizes what things you also did wrong. You began recognizing your toxic behaviors, your issues, and how they affected other people. You then try your best to work on it, although sometimes, you find yourself relapsing into these behaviors. But hey, progress doesn’t always have to be linear.
2022 was such a year of hope for you and for many. It was when the hope for a better country was at its highest. But as red ran the streets, it was also a year for its lowest. However, it was never gone. Though there are still times when you think about what would’ve, could’ve, and should've been, you still sometimes wish that the outcome was different.
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| Image from CNN Philippines |
It was a year filled with losses but it was also a year of achievement. You have achieved things that your younger self would not have thought you would. You look at your younger self’s photo and think "You would be so proud if you could see yourself now.” But there were also times when you’d think the opposite such as, “What did we become like this? I’m sorry.”
You think of your future self and you get excited but oftentimes, you still get scared of what it holds for you. You are scared of disappointing the people you love and yourself. You are terrified of not being able to reach your goals and live the life you have dreamed of. But at the end of the day, you tell yourself that it will all work out.
Looking back, you have grown so much. You have reflected on so many things that help define who you are at this point in your life. You were faced with so many challenges yet here you are, about to begin a new chapter of your life.
Yes, you still go through crises from time to time during midnight, crying over things you thought you have moved on from. You still find yourself reliving the situations that tormented you mentally, you still have not fixed all your issues, and you sometimes still think that you have not grown at all, but the truth is, you did. Immensely.
2022 has been such a long year for you. So many things have happened and so many things also didn’t. As you enter 2023, bring all of you with you—your past and your present. Pursue your own happiness and peace of mind. Try your best to heal from the things that scarred you.
At the end of the day, when you find yourself looking back at the past version of yourself, you will see your past self looking back at you, proudly.
To you, reader of this letter, how was your 2022? Do you share the same experiences and emotions? Whatever happened this 2022, it happened to nurture you and pave your way toward a better future. May 2023 be full of good things for you. May it bring you growth, happiness, and the things you failed to have in 2022.
Happy New Year, CASAns!
