Today's first poem, by Francesca Oledan of 2COM1, greets us with remarkably solemn, profound, and surreal emotions. The piece shows us the different processes and stages of slow-burning grief one goes through as a mother slowly becomes a sort of distant and unrecognizable figure in one's life and despite it all, remnants of their love and memories are forever held dearly.
A Reminder of Yesterday
by Francesca Pauline Oledan
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The feeling of your calloused, warm hand as it caresses my hair softly,
Causing me to sleep to the low hum of the television instantly.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
How you scolded me with both a touch of care and a dash of vigor,
But later on, hug me tight along with sweet apologies that I also mirror.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The cold and sterile scent as I walk through the hospital facility,
Where I find you bustling around making yourself busy.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
Your tired eyes and weary demeanor,
How my frequent yet brief visits seemed to be an enough favor.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The cracking yet resoluteness in your voice as it slowly gave in and frayed,
“Papa is no longer with us, though he wished he could have stayed.”
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
How you try to muffle your cries as you thought I was asleep,
Not knowing my mind was racing, as I hug my pillow and weep.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
Your shift in pace and change in character,
How another man made your days once again vibrant and full of laughter.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The simple yet traditional moments of siomai and rice,
How the delicious treat and your presence would never fail to suffice.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
How my whole world came crashing down, as I stood before you,
Pale and smiling as I continue to ponder what I could possibly do.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The last time I heard your voice as it faded with the dial tone,
How each word you spoke was the last message compressed into a sentence of its own.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The sickening yet familiar feeling enclosing on my entire being,
The joy of finally getting to see you amidst my heart shattering.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
How I tried so hard to grin and cheer,
Consoled by the fact that you were in a better place away from here.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
The onslaught of the rain and tears that clouded my vision,
As I forcibly watched you disappear in flames beyond recognition.
I remember it all as if it were yesterday,
How I should have tried harder to make you stay,
How I should have made a fool-proof way.
I remember it all as clear as day,
As I touch the marble stone and close my eyes and say,
“I wish to be with you again, but I will live my life still anyway,”
“I want to remember you each and every day.”
“All of your flaws and lessons taught,”
“How much growth in me, it has brought.”
“Mama, I want to wish you a happy birthday,”
“And always remember forever in my heart you will stay.”
